November 6, 2009

Broke mentality



Have you ever been broke? Being broke is quite subjective. I once worked at a restaurant and me and this other girl were in the dressing room putting on our uniforms and she was crying. "What's wrong?" I asked her. "I'm so broke," she replied. The bitch girl went on to say "I like to pay double on my car note and this month I can't."

I have a close friend who once said she was broke because she usually puts her entire second check (gets paid 1st and 15th) in savings and couldn't that month. (gag)

For some people being broke means having $25 until pay day the following week. Ok, I'd agree that probably doesn't feel good.

For me...my broke...my broke is being six months pregnant with my first child, shacking up with my first deadbeat unemployed live-in boyfriend and only having enough money to pay the rent. No credit card bills, car notes, or even groceries. At the time I worked at a restaurant that fed us a meal before the evening shift started and many, many times that would be my pregnant self's only meal for the day. We were BROKE. At the time I was too stupid and prideful to ask my parents for help.

Those times are far behind me and now I can say that financially I am very blessed. But I still have a "broke mentality". I have such a fear of being broke again that I find it hard to part with certain clothing and shoes. I know that God giveth and he taketh away too! So I feel like if tomorrow comes and we're without income those faded jeans or linty sweater or runover shoes will come in handy!

My husband is trying to snap me out of this thought process. He's the money man. He budgets our money and puts away money for the kids and in our savings. (if it were up to me, I'd spend every dime we made before it hit the bank!) So we (he) have a new rule: Whenever I buy a new pair of shoes I have to get rid of an old pair. (It hurts my soul to do this) Baby steps.

I know one thing: Being broke is not fun.