Supporting our own...

Check out this blog from Torrian Ferguson about black owned book stores and distributors. I get the feeling that this issue hurts his heart. It's definitely not coming from a place of resentment because besides the poor business practices of some...he's persevered as an Essence best selling author, he's the former host of a wildly popular blogtalk radio show and now has launched his own publishing company, Anexander Books. I think he raises some very valid, very frustrating and sad points. Enjoy!

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=117249410&blogId=487248479

Mrs. Organized -- that's me.

LMAO - anyone who knows me is probably laughing so hard that they can't breathe. No, I'm not organized but I'm trying to be. I say all the time that I value my sleep and quality time with my family too much to be organized. But I'm finding that as my responsibilities increase, I can't deal with being unorganized anymore. I need to get it together...like yesterday. So I googled "how to get organized" and came up with some good pointers that I plan on implementing for myself and hopefully may help someone else. Also, I had to put my own little twist on them to make the pointers work for me :-) I'm not trying to move mountains, just small changes that'll help me deal.

• Make a to-do list - Duh...but make the list in threes. This way the list appears more attainable and less intimidating. Accomplishing the first three tasks will be great motivation to make another list and get it done!



• Multi-task - Wash the dishes while talking on the phone with that person you've been meaning to call since forever. Fold clothes while listening/watching a webinar. You get the picture.



• Delegate - Don't be afraid to ask for help! But make sure the person you're asking is capable of carrying out the task without making more work for you in the end.

Three...that's all my system can handle at once. Oh - an honorary mention comes from my mother: If you have an appointment, whether it be hair, nails, doctor or dentist, try to schedule yourself as the first appointment of the day. You know how long the wait can be at these places!! If you're the first in the door you don't have to worry about delays and can get on with the rest of your day!

I love these two!

Love it when Hollywood couples don't hide under the cloak of "we're just friends". They're out, they're in love, and I don't like the way they are both ridiculously beautiful! I'd marry either one.

That's all...

~K

Thick gets the D, skinny gets the ring?

Hmmm...I'm noticing a pattern. While the image we see in rap and r&b videos have women with phat azzes, tig ol biddies, thick thighs and all that, in real life these are not the women the rappers and singers choose to be with. And by "be with", I mean, wife-up, not sleep with. Here are a couple of case studies...Diddy and Kim Porter/Cassie....Kanye and Alexis, Ryan Leslie and Chanel Iman, Nick Cannon and Selita Banks/Mariah (although Mariah's now putting on a little happy weight now). It seems as if these men prefer less curvier, modelesque women in their real lives but and leave the voluptuous women as eye candy for TV. Do the skinny and sexy women get the ring and the thick and delicious just get the D? (in celebrity world, that is)

So I asked my facebook women friends, which body type they'd prefer: video vixen or modelesque. Got no responses from women. Notta one. I once read that the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said... I took the women's non-response as A) preferring neither body type but comfortable somewhere in between, or B) too proud to admit they'd prefer a body type other than what they have. I'm going with B...and I'll go ahead and weigh in on my preference. My current body type leans on the video vixen side minus, the huge azz... I think I'd prefer the model body though, that way I can eat what I want and gain a little if necessary. Being on the thicker side I find my life's too busy to put the dedication into losing weight. Gaining weight would be fun!!

Now, I did get one response on facebook... from a male...and I quote "models are too skinny vixens all the way...lol". Hmmmm...

Social Networking...Young girls, why?

Twenty years old and under, I'm talking about you. Anyone older than 20, and you're still messy on the internet, oh well, you're grown. It's the younger ones, the ones that turn eighteen and can finally say "I'm grown." A) you're legal, not grown and B) if you have to say "I'm grown!" you're still a little girl.

Young ladies, you are setting yourselves up for failure! How can I talk? Because I was a messy, under-educated, over-opinionated, over-developed teen myself. (and I still have my messy moments) But despite my mother's advice, I had to learn everything my way. What the hell does she know? I thought. I'm not her and it's not the seventies anymore. Things are different now.

Same shit, different decade -- the game doesn't change, just the players. And now the players live out their lives publicly on social networking sites.

Get over yourself! You think you're looking so grown up or maybe you feel you're just "doing you." But you don't... and you're not. You're a walking, talking stereotype. Everything you do and say is so textbook. So predictable.

You get back what you put out there... The package that I see a majority of you youngins putting out there for the world to see via facebook and myspace is concerning. You post pictures on these websites dressed like video hoes, commenting on how fucked up you were that night. In those "getting to know you" surveys that go around you take every opportunity to exploit how much you love sex. Blech. We get it -- you're grown. (and sexy even) Then the facebook statuses...so much energy wasted on putting on blast your failed relationships with men. Your disappointment with men. Your anger about their cheating ways.

Take a step back and realize what it is that you're putting out there. Your facebook/myspace pages scream that your this overtly sexy person who's the life of the party that likes to get high and drunk. Translation: You are not girlfriend material. Ass. And this is not limited to just your online representation, these pics that were taken happened in real life too. Only God knows what happened that wasn't photographed. And then you wonder where the real "men" are and why you're always getting cheated on? A real man knows a real woman when he sees her. You, my dear are not that.

To be fair, (well, try to be), some people's online persona is just one facet of their personality. You have some straight A, highly intelligent, highly motivated, youngins that post these partying pics too. Fine, I get that. Bravo to you. (no sarcasm there) Just be careful because you're going to be judged right along with those truly messy girls just the same. First impressions stick.

You ever heard Mary J. Blige's song "Grown Woman?". Take a listen... Put it on your IPOD ASAP.

"I wear these Seven jeans but baby they don't wear me

I keep it covered up, uh Cause I'm a lady

I know how to show a little somethin, somethin

You can't see what's under there Cause I'm a grown woman

I'm so sexy...Remain a mystery...Cause everybody always want what they can't see

And what they can't have, and what they can't grab, and what they can't buy, and baby that's me!"

*****And while you're at it put Lyfe Jennings' "S.E.X" on your IPOD too. Thanks.

Weekend recap

Sometimes I'm in denial about the weight I've gained over the years... until I see pictures. I get dressed up and feel like a diva supreme, no weight insecurities. If I do say so myself, I hide my flaws very well. Until the night is over and I go home to review the pics that I take with my thinner friends and then the reality of my weight gain bashes me in the face like a pillow case stuffed with bricks and half the pictures end up getting deleted. Oh, but not this weekend. Didn't have to wait to get home and review the pics...I'm walking through the dance floor and this girl that I recognize from high school walks up to me and says "Do you remember me?" I say "Of course! How are you?" We hug. She gives me the once over and says with complete sincerity and innocence. "Wow you've put on some weight." Pause.

Yes she said it and I was mortified and felt as insecure as I have in years. But blame it on the alcohol that I was able to continue the night dancing and ki-ki'ing it up with my friends despite the reminder of the weight I've gained since high school, which to be exact is 50 pounds. I awkwardly admitted to her,"Yes, yes I have gained weight," And then I graciously said, "I'm trying to get like you because you still look great." Smile and walk away. Smile and walk away.

Was I offended, no...I really don't think she was trying to be rude. But dayum...

Anyways, that was Friday night on a midnight boat ride I attended. It was a different/fun time but I was mad they didn't have my Zinfandel on deck. In my old age I cannot mess with alcohol anymore, and my taste buds are too immature to appreciate Chardonnay's and Pinot Grigio's and such so I depend on the sweet wine goodness that is White Zinfandel. So when the bartender told me it wasn't happening -- I had raspberry vodka and sprite (my drink of choice when my younger body could handle it). After one cup of that I realized the night would not end well if I continued down that road. So my girls and I got a bottle of Moet Rose, which I'd never had and must say I quite enjoyed :-) It would've made sense to stop after that bottle was done, but noooo. For some reason unknown to me still, my friend was begging her male friend from back in the day to buy me another drink because he had just bought her one...First of all, I had my own money, second of all I was tipsy enough and didn't need anything, and third I didn't even know this guy! I drank the Malibu and Cranberry down like Kool-Aid because I was thirsty more than anything else. And. That. Put. Me. Over. The. Edge. Luckily it was just about time to go home so I spared myself any embarrassing antics. (I think...I hope) Was a little shaky the next morning but I was able to shake a hangover with Aleve and lots and lots of water.

Sunday I finally cleaned my house and got a newsletter out about my new book. In retrospect, nothing really blog worthy happened this weekend other than the girl graciously pointing out my weight gain (in case I'd forgotten or didn't realize)...but once I got started on that my fingers wouldn't stop.

Can I just add... since I'm not single and out the game, it really doesn't matter, but while I'm at it... I think men need to step their game up. All night, I danced with my girlfriends, no guys approached, no guys bought drinks, but on the way out we're getting our arms grabbed, complimented, asked to have our pic taken with them. WHY? So you can post the pic on ur facebook/myspace page and look like a mack? You're not... I/We met at least five guys on the way to the car. This seems so counter intuitive to me...Why not talk to me during the event, buy me a drink, get to know me a little, dance with me and then ask for my number? Dudes just skip all that thesedays. Straight to the "can I get your number?"... A shame. How 'bout you give me a reason first to want to get to know you better? And I don't mean "me" literally. I'm spoken for. I'm just sayin'.

My Husband's Fiancee

I am so excited to announce that my new book, My Husband's Fiancee, will be released this October and I'm loving the cover! You can click here to pre-order your copy.

Kimberly Rose is a career-driven reality television producer whose career has recently taken a slump. But when she witnesses a mistress confronting her lover and his wife in a crowded shopping mall, she immediately realizes she has the next reality show hit on her hands. Her show, My Husband's Fiancee, is born. Kimberly's personal life isn't as successful as her career. Her past is filled with damaging secrets that still haunt her dreams.When her father's health begins to decline, Kimberly's mother can't understand why she's unaffected by the tragedy. Her mother doesn't know it but Kimberly and her father also share a wicked secret. Luckily, Kimberly's love life is just as she wants it; lust-filled rendezvous with her famous, wealthy "boy toy." When he starts pressuring her for a deeper commitment, she's faced with telling him about her past or hiding it from him and hoping she's never exposed. "My Husband's Fiancee" is the best reality show you will ever read! Tune in to see whether the husband chooses to stay with his wife or marry his mistress and whether Kimberly resolves her past demons and lets love into her life.