April 29, 2009

Parents, sometimes smoke alarms aren't enough!



This clip is a little lengthy, but very insightful. I was blown away. Scary!


Ciara, what happened?

I was browsing through one of my fave gossip sites, necolebitchie.com the other day and she mentioned Ciara's Super C persona and how Cici comments that bloggers are putting so much negative stuff out there but she won't let it get to her. Ms. Bitchie didn't have anything negative to say about her though, I might add. I thought to myself "Why would anyone hate on Ciara? She's beautiful, has a sweet image, can perform her butt off and keeps a decent song in rotation for the most part." Then I got to thinking...When she first hit the scene she was charasmatic, spunky and just generally different than the other R&B chicks out at the time, even despite the Beyonce'esque blond wig she was rocking.


While I believe in artists evolving, I feel she's veered so far from her lane that she just blends in now. While she looks more in shape and gorgeous than ever, she's become a robot: Yawn. Her classy, grown up look reminds me of Beyonce and Super-C looks like Rihanna's "Gone Bad" image.




Before and After...
The world has a hard time accepting change, especially if we loved you just as you were. Come back to us Ci...


P.S. Also, if I see her roll her hips or tick one more time I might just gouge my eyes out. I'm not hatin' just observing. Maybe a little bit of both. What-evs.

Know when to WALK AWAY...

I battled with how personal to make this blog entry because this topic hits home with me in ways that are pretty painful to relive. I wanted to share my testimony, but maybe not yet. I just launched this blog on Monday so we don't really know each other like that just yet...So fortunately and unfortunately there are plenty of public examples I can draw from instead.



When to walk away from a relationship is one of the hardest things to do, but you have to draw the line somewhere! Knowing when is a difficult thing to judge. We have Rihanna and Chris Brown, who at one point were the poster child for young, hip, love. The falacy of their love crashed and burned in front of an audience of millions. There's speculation that both of them had been violent with the other in the past - so who's to blame? Let's blame them both for being blinded by love and ignoring the signs that it was time to walk away long ago. Rarely are domestic violent episodes of this degree isolated incidents. Most likely it started with a shove, maybe a smack, maybe a choke-out or a little tussle. Nothing to write home about or that can't be forgiven when you're madly in love with someone, right? Or maybe nothing you haven't seen your own parents endure...



But then comes that one time...that one time where things go so far to the left that after the dust settles there's no turning back. He/she has hurt you so badly that you can't image ever sharing your body, mind and soul with this person ever again so you break up. (finally) But things went so left that now if you see that person in the street you mean-mug each other and keep it moving or just pretend not to see them. How sad is it that people that once craved each other...that bonded through adversity and euphoria, can't even remain civil? You're in court now pressing charges, getting restraining orders from the very person you entrusted with your life. The person you once considered your protector? I don't like the way!



So...when to walk away. It's painful when you love someone to imagine being without them. But its even more painful to endure abuse at the hands of someone you love. And no, not all relationships are ruined by domestic violence, but in my opinion that's just one of the worst things that can happen as a result of just hanging on too long to someone that's not worthy.



#1 - He/She tries to assasinate your character. For instance, I'm an author which leaves me vulnerable to critism from strangers. A man could easily break me down mentally by saying "You think you're all that because you're an author. That's nothing. And what you write is just stupid relationship stuff, nothing special." (thems fighting words)



#2 - He/She tries to control what you wear, what you do and with whom.



#3 - He/She doesn't like when others make you happy. They don't want to hear stories about the FedEx guy that told a funny joke that morning or the new assistant in the office that orders the healthy snacks you like. They want to be the only person that brings you joy. You find yourself not sharing certain parts of your day because you don't want to get them started.



#4 - He/She tries to make you into someone you aren't. There's a fine line between trying to get someone to step outside their box and trying to make them into what you wish they were.



#5 - You find yourself falling off. You used to enjoy weekly manicures and pedicures, got your hair done every two weeks faithfully, worked out and dressed like a diva. Now you're gaining weight, you're hair is a mess and breaking off, nails a wreck. The person you are with is downgrading you. You need to reassess!

Check out this video, it's long but the information you learn may save a life or a soul...





April 28, 2009

I laughed until I cried!

Black Men & White Women: Still a Hot Topic?

Essence.com says yes!



But I think they're just reaching really far to find a talking point for Beyonce's new movie "Obsessed." Do we (Black women) still have a problem with our brothers being with women that don't look like their mothers? Are we still talking about that? That's so 1995, I think.



Please weigh in. Is this still a hot topic?

My lip gloss be poppin'

I am a lip gloss fiend. I change up my selections, brand, colors often because I'm scared that I might be missing something. Real talk: The first thing I said in the delivery room after giving birth to my daughter was: "Ma, pass me my lip gloss." For me there's almost nothing more uncomfortable than dryness of the lip. It's equally unattractive too. I thought I'd share with you my top three lip gloss picks of the moment. And if you have any recommendations PLEASE SHARE!!




In order of preference:




#3 - C.O. Bigelow's Mentha Lip Tint in Pink Mint - Love the tingly feeling this one provides after smoothing it in. Makes me feel like its "working". Smells great, and provides a tiny tinge of pink to the lip. And it really moisturizes. I HATE lip gloss that just glosses and five minutes later your lips feel dry again. I need the gloss and the moisturization. This one brings it. I usually find myself wearing this one at work or running errands in sweatpants, etc. Loves it though.




#2 - Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush in Mocha Boom - This brand's glosses glide on a bit thick and a lot of people don't like that sticky feel. I don't mind it terribly. Another downside to some would be the strong coffee-like scent of the Mocha Boom. I loves it though. It brings the moisture game and I'm also feeling the goldish tint just adds a little something to the gloss experience.




#1 - Lancome's Juicy Tubes Sparkling Night Collection - Un-friggin-fortunately I can't report the flavor I like the most because it rubbed off the tube, but I think it's Constellation. It's a darker berry colored concoction of perfection. It's not too thick. It smells good, it tastes good, and it adds a sassy amount of color without looking like lipstick. Great moisturizer. This is my fave by far. Sometimes work is worthy of me wearing it but mostly I glide this baby on when I'm stepping out on the scene. Girl's Night Out flow, dinner with the hubby flow.

The Breast Cancer We Don't Always Hear About



Sheesh! I'm going to talk to my gynocologist about this at my annual visit. You should too!

First runner up for Husband #2

Dear Trey Songz,


I am a woman of a certain age. I'm a wife and a mother of two who's starting to make a name for myself in the literary community.


I've been in the presence of quite a bit of stars and have always remained the consummate professional. (Except for that time I chased O.D.B down an escalator and asked for a hug and he autographed my Pizza Hut box for me. Pause...I was like 14 so its ok. RIP Ol' Dirty Bastard)




I'm a classy broad for the most part, but let me tell you something, Tremaine, if I was single... I'd **** you the ******* in a ****** ***** bathroom, any time, any day.





With love,





Kaira

April 26, 2009

To Weave or not to Weave...

So I recently took my tracks out and swore never to weave again.


Now I'm no weave-nista but found in the last year or so I've grown to love the flexibility, ease and dependability of a good weave.


But that's just it...key word GOOD weave. Now, its not my weave girl's fault, she gets busy! When my weaves looked good, they looked GOOD, but good God almighty when they looked bad....uh, yeah. I truly believe in getting my money's worth so when I'm paying almost $200 for a hairstyle I'm going to hold onto it until it's a "man-down-code-red-situation" which is usually about six weeks.


I confided in my weave girl about my raggedy weave woes. The conversation went a little like this:


Me: My weave looks so damn rough after the second or third week. Do I need to buy better hair?


Weave Girl: Do you wrap it every night?


Me: No.


Weave Girl: (squinting her eyes at me) Do you keep it moisturized? Spray oil sheen in it and brush it everyday?


Me: No.


Weave Girl: (Giving me the serious side eye, hands now perched on hips) Do you get it washed?


Me: Oh, I can wash my hair with the tracks in?


Weave Girl: I'm through with you!


Evidently weaves aren't as care free as I thought! I might as well deal with my own hair if I got to be putting all this effort into it any damn way. How dare you? Verdict:


Weaves, I HATE YOU!


So... tracks are out. My hair has grown a good four to five inches since I've been wearing the weaves. Not mad at that, but I need a serious perm. Want it rinsed jet black and need a good trim. Basically I need to call on the professionals. First I text my weave girl:


Me: Do you do natural hair too? I need a relaxer, jet black rinse and a trim.


Weave Girl: Yes, I do it all.


Me: Oh goodie, can I come by tomorrow?


Weave Girl: (No response..........)



Ok so what that the next day was Good Friday, but she could've gave me an answer, I guess she wasn't playing when she said she was through with me. I don't like the way! So I didn't hear back from her. Took the hint...moved on to Plan B.




My back up plan was to walk in to this salon close to my house that "welcomes walk-ins". Yeah...right. Had Good Friday off from the plantation so I walked in right at 9:00am (the time they claim to open) There's seven people in front of me and only one sylist graciously decided to show up for work that morning, even though Easter weekend is quite possible the busiest weekend of the year at any salon. Bitches.




Normally, I would've done an about face and cut my losses, but this year I'm working on my patience. I took a seat and pulled out a novel. Five minutes and one chapter later I slammed the book closed, threw it in my bag and bounced. I tried.




Now since my hair is in dire straits and I've run out of options to remedy the situation, I'm cursing weaves, anyone that sells them, anyone that makes them, anyone that does them (especially my own weave girl), and anyone that wears them.




Drove to the nearest beauty supply store and bought all the ish I needed to do my own damn hair. See, I grew up doing my two little sister's hair and have a daughter with the thickest hair known to man, so I can do my own hair, I just can find a million other things I'd rather be doing. Like sleeping, writing, reading, cooking, eating, cleaning, having sexy time, sleeping...but I digress.




Result: I ended up chopping the entire five inches off that I was so happy to report. I have a serious pet peeve for scraggly ends and so it all...had...to...go. (Effing weave thinned out my hair, I hate you!!!) Overall it came out great though. It's thick, jet black like I like it, but its' short... A short bob. Cute, for a lot of people. I'm not quite in love with the look on me. Actually I hate it.




My fingers are itching to call my weave girl and beg her to take me back as a client. Beg her to weave me up and promise her I'll take good care of it this time! Looking in the mirror everyday at this bob, maybe I don't hate weaves all that much. Kinda miss it.





P.S. - I just happen to run into a ghost from pu$$y's past at an event he wasn't even invited to with the new cut. Of course, right? I'm feeling completely insecure about the new 'do and I see him after YEARS of not seeing him. YEARS!! Don't get it twisted. I'm happily married, but something inside of me lives for the "See what you could've had" moments. And I think I failed this time around. Horribly. Yes, its shallow and immature. I've been called worse.

I thoroughly enjoyed this!

I don't like the way I've watched this about eleven times and still find it as funny as the first!

Boyfriend #2?

Pleasure P sings "Ladies, if you got a man and a buddy on the side say Yeah. If you be making plans 'cause he ain't hitting it right say Yeah."


Uh...no.


Don't get me wrong. Love the song. Love it! When the kids (and the husband...lol) aren't in the car, I turn up the volume and sing at the top of my lungs "Yeah!"


Now, back to the point at hand...having a boyfriend #2 is problematic and just generally not a good look. Ladies have that man on the side usually to satisfy sexual, emotion, or financial needs that boyfriend #1 can't fulfill, right? For the sake of staying on subject, in Mr. P's song he refers to the untapped sexual desires being fulfilled by said boyfriend #2.


Here is why I find it problematic:

  • Boyfriend #2, the jumpoff. Yes, he rocks that thang just like you need it rocked, but chances are very high that you are not the only thang he's rocking. STD's are not now nor have they ever been cute. Use condoms every time? Ok...but what about tongue kissing (both sets of lips...) Now there's no boyfriend #2 worth his salt if he isn't kissing both sets of lips. (Oooooo on the TLC tip!)



  • There's a high chance the boyfriend #2 will never be boyfriend #1. If boyfriend #1 finds out about boyfriend #2 and leaves you, don't think you're going to run into the arms of boyfriend #2 to replace the one you just lost. Remember -- you're the slut that betrayed your boyfriend's trust just to get a nut. He doesn't want you boo. Not like that.


So I say, if boyfriend #1 ain't hitting it right to the point where you feel like you have to let someone else hit it right, then MOVE ON. You may say that boyfriend #1 has many good qualities so that's why you keep him around. Stable, good head on his shoulders, treats you nice, etc, blah, blah, blah. But here's the thing, love is an unconditional emotion. There's no I love him but....... You don't love him, move on. I mean, that's what boyfriends are for right? Good times, good sex, a best friend and all that rolled into one? Sex sucks, move on. (Just quickly, on the other hand if all he can do is hit it right and got no type of act-right in him...MOVE ON.)


Hmmm...now Husband #2, now THAT sounds more like it! Let that marinate for a minute... I think I like it... I mean, husbands aren't quite as disposable as a boyfriend, they can't be thrown away just because the sex ain't poppin' anymore. Commitment, love, sex, confidante, loyalty, STD free zone, and variety! That's if everyone plays by the rules. Have sex with me and no one else. After all I am your wife! Would never happen, but a girl can fantasize...

What is I don't like the way...?

I realize that "I don't like the way" is commonly used in our language. Like as in, "I don't like the way he treats you" or "I don't like the way this tastes." Not around these parts. No, no, no...


It's a phrase highly used by me and my girlfriends, coined, I believe by my girl Tasha. But what does it mean? "I don't like the way!" can be used in so many yummy ways, but basically it's just an exclamation mark. I'd say 80% of the time I/we use it in a positive way, as in:


"I don't like the way that guy is cute!" -or- Your girlfriend has on the baddest pair of shoes, the phrase can be used independently like so: Gawk at her shoes and shriek "I don't like the way!"


It can also be used negatively, again only in an exclamatory sense, as so: You've been waiting on someone to meet you for over 15 minutes. Give them a call and say "I don't like the way I been waiting here for 15 minutes for you! Where are you?" - or - Independently, say you're waiting in a long line for the ladies bathroom and some bish walks up and skips the line like she's special... a simple "I don't like the way!" will do. Your friends will know what you're talking about. They saw her cut the line too and they didn't like the way either.


There's your explanation. This is not a blog about bitching about the things I don't like. (well sometimes I guess it will be). Most times I don't like the way will be a good thing! Also it's pronounced with emphasis so if you read it here or start incorporating it into your own conversations, you drag out the "way." Like this: "I don't like the waaayyy this food is good!"


Ok I'm done.

Sugar's Daddy



Single father Payton struggles to find balance as he raises his teenage daughter, Alana—not his natural daughter but under his care since her mother, Keisha, abandoned them when Alana was a baby. Good-looking, he’s never had trouble attracting women. But what complicates any potential relationships is that Alana has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, and most women just don’t want to stick around...until Cassie. She has a sick child of her own, and that makes it easy for her and Payton to bond. But trouble’s about to infect their new found paradise as Keisha bursts back onto the scene, and both Payton and Cassie begin to receive death threats. With all they have to endure, can they get on with their lives—and their love?



Click here to order now! $6.99

Take it There




Art director by day, Brittany parties hard after hours and sleeps with all kinds of anonymous well-dressed, rich brothers with nice cars. But her dangerous behavior is about to catch up with her. Shari’s blissfully married to husband Dex—until Brittany’s younger sister, Tangie, comes to stay with them, and Shari starts suspecting she’s knocking boots with Dex... Nia has enough problems with her half-sisters, who don't accept her because her father was Cuban. Now an ex who badly wronged her in the past is back, adding more confusion to her life. Can these friends help each other through?

Click here to order now! $6.99

Don't forget to watch the "Take it There" trailer!



Kaira Denee

Kaira Denee was born in Boston, MA. Both her parents were enlisted in the U.S. Army so she was raised in Germany, Texas, Louisiana, and Virginia before settling in Connecticut where she has lived for the past 14 years. With great passion and ambition, she self-published her debut novel Take It There in 2005. In 2007 she reached a second major milestone when she signed to Urban Soul. Her second novel, Sugar's Daddy, was released in January of 2009. Her third novel, My Husbans's Fiancee will be released on October 20, 2009. Kaira Denee was also a contributing author to the book Bedtime Stories 2, which will be released in December of 2009.You can purchase Kaira Denee's books at book stores nationwide as well as online at amazon.com, blackexpressions.com, and walmart.com.



http://www.kairadenee.com/

www.myspace.com/kairadenee



kairadenee@yahoo.com

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