Martin and Gina

I never thought I'd be sitting here crying while watching one of the most funny shows ever made. But I'm just sitting here wondering, Why did this show ever have to end?

Well I guess we all know why, but I don't want to think about that right now. All I want to do is wallow in my misery. I just got done watching the episode where they broke up over Gina's bad Valentine's gift. Remember that statue of the booty? Martin pretends to like it the night before but around Tommy and Cole he tries to act brand new and teases her about the gift. Gina says Martin's mom has a mustache. Then Martin says Gina's dad's ass is so tight he could back into a brick wall and suck out a brick. Man...good times. Then Gina says something to the affect of that's your ignorant opinion, but your mother's mustache...now that's a fact! Then she snaps her fingers and high-fives Pam.

What surprises me is that this show aired fifteen years ago and I can still recite lines word for word! But alas, all I can do is be sad right now. There hasn't been a show since that can compare! Remember though, right before the show ended there were those strange episodes where Martin and Gina weren't in any scenes together and Martin just looked sad and defeated? Why the hell did they even have to air those miserable episodes? Why?

Martin and Gina...my favorite TV couple ever...hands down. Oooo and yesterday I watched the episode with Ms. Trinidad!! The end scene still gives me chills when Ms. Trinidad tells Martin "I know you want me." and Gina says, "No bitch I want you." HA. And then she takes off her earrings and pulls out her sneakers and vaseline. Timeless.

I feel like a lot of shows with all Black casts these days are so corny and buffooneryish. While Martin had its share of pure foolishness, there's no denying Martin's comedic genius!

Kudos to TV One for bringing good Black shows back. And honorable mention goes to Living Single too. But it can't touch Marty-Mar.

Drake, the phenomenon

This is not, nor will it ever be a blog about celeb gossip. Don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE celebrity gossip whore, but I just can't be bothered with keeping up with it all enough to report on it. But if there's someone who inspires me, I shall blog.

Case in point, my sis and I had a hilarious conversation about Drake. Well, I didn't get many words in because she was going nuts! I don't have a very strong opinion about Drake. I do happen to like his songs that I hear but I'm sure I would enjoy him more without alllllll the hype surrounding him. So, I was talking (and by talking I mean IM'ing) to my sister who happens to be out of the country at the moment and she asked "Do you know this Drake dude?" I say yes. Since she's not in the US she asks about his buzz. I proceed to tell her what I've heard, including "There hasn't been an artist this impactful since 50 Cent hit the scene." Her rant was hilarious and I shall post it here. Remember these are her views, not mine. But I do find great enjoyment in laughing at this:

my sis: (12:03:17 PM) i'm not a huge fan of heavy use of the N word anyway, but i'm especially bothered by it when drake says it (12:04:16 PM): he's riding a thin line with his high yellow skin and soft wavy "nice" hair that just screams i'm half white
(12:04:48 PM): on top of the fact that i know his background and his parents were divorced when he was 5 and he was raised by his white jewish mother in an upper class jewish neighborhood in canada
(12:05:25 PM): so it rubs me the wrong way to hear how entitled he feels to throwing it around
ME: (12:05:46 PM): lmao...this is still as enjoyable...keep going
(12:06:37 PM): especially in this one song where a few lines later he mentions his jewish aunt and throws out a "mausle tauf" (or however u spell that jewish phrase for congratulations)...its just not okay with
(12:06:38 PM): me
(12:07:10 PM): not to mention there's something about his whole overall image that just doesn't sit well with me
(12:07:19 PM): its all well and fine if u want to be a rapper
(12:08:18 PM): but there's something so counterintuitive about his ridiculously metro sexual pretty boy image
(12:08:21 PM): and background for that matter
(12:08:50 PM): he came off that show degrassi...where if u look at what he looked like then u might just straight up wonder if he was gay...cuz i did
(12:09:02 PM): again, if u wanna be a metrosexual maybe even gay rapper, more power to u
(12:09:03 PM): BUT
(12:09:11 PM): i just can't bring myself to understand what the hype about him is
(12:10:48 PM): it seems to me that if u'd have to be an exceptionally talented somebody to get the world to embrace u in spite of ur high yellow skin, wavy "nice hair, rich jewish background and raising, AND metroxeual as idk what BUT N-word using, hard sounding image and presentation
(12:11:11 PM): and yet...his skills are but mediocre
ME: (12:11:17 PM): haha - ur all riled up again... teehee
(12:11:33 PM): and he's not bringing anything new to the table
(12:12:04 PM): yeah yeah u made it to the top, ur making money, ur getting girls ur living the life in the limelight...so is everybody else and their mother
(12:13:28 PM): u want me to make a big deal out of u inspite of ur less than a turn on of an image, i need u to show me and the rest of the world something different, somethiing that blows our minds cuz its so beyond what we could have expected or imagined
(12:13:43 PM): drake doesn't do that for me, so everyone should stop all this hooplah about him
(12:13:44 PM): that is all
(12:13:51 PM): and yes, i'm annoyed by him all over again

She's very long winded, but her rants (which are frequent) crack me up!

So You Caught Your Partner Cheating...Part One

Never saw or heard of the show Jon and Kate plus 8 until Jon decided to step out on his wife (and mother of his eight kids) with some chick. Now they're plastered all over the web and I can't turn on the TV without hearing something about these two. So it got me to thinking...what would I do if I caught my husband out there with another woman? Would I leave him? The simple answer is NO. But that's based upon knowing very little about the situation. I'd want to ask him: Who is she? How long have you known her? Where'd you meet her? What does she look like? What's her name? Where does she live? How old is she? and on and on and on... But then again knowing all that would just add salt to the wounds. I went back and forth with myself weighing my husband's pros and cons and came up with a list of questions I'd ask myself (or him) if ever faced with infidelity.

#1 - GOTTA KNOW...who was it? Yes it will hurt but dammit I need to know was it just some random chick you met at the bar and you slipped up? Or was it your baby momma and every time you go get your son you two are jumping off? Is it a chick at work because if so you're going to need to put in your two weeks notice ASAP! I need to know in what context you know this person!

#2 - How will us separating effect me financially and physically? We have two kids. Will I be able to afford to live without his paycheck? If the answer is yes, then will I have any type of quality of life without him around to share my load?

#3 - Will this matter in twenty years? Yes the wounds from his cheating will hurt for a very long time and things may never get back to where they were before the betrayal, but twenty years from now will I look back and regret leaving him? If he had sex with my best friend, I probably won't regret it. But if it was a one time thing with a co-worker, after twenty years of making it up to me I think I'll be ok.

#4 - Did you use protection? Either way, I'm going to get checked out. But if the answer is no, they didn't use protection...he'd better duck fast. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it!

#5 - Does this one bad erase all the good he's done for me? Really? Or does this one bad just add to the list of bad ish he's done over the years and now I've had enough?

I would HATE to actually be forced with this situation though. Yes, I've been cheated on in past relationships but those were just boyfriends. I'ze married now... changes the game entirely. Hasty decisions just lead to emotionally charged changes that are so unnecessary. Why kick him out if a week later I'm just going to let him back in?

**Part Two will explore the options should you decide to stay. To include: cutting his dick off, not an option. Calling the other female, not an option...

FYI...I'm not well

I just didn't want my blog followers to think I'm slackin' on my pimpin'. I'm just sick as hell!! But I'm halfway on the road to recovery! I guess its just a common cold/ear infection/sinus infection type thing but I don't like the way its draaaaging on all week like this. I hope I'm better to enjoy this nice patch of weather that's supposed to continue on through the weekend :-) Also, my newly designed, fabulous website is just about done and I can't wait for you to see it! I can't believe I'm still up in this state at this hour. My eyes are burning, my nose is running, my throat is on fire.

Until next time,

~K

Oldest biddies in the club...

The night started off ever so lovely. Me and four of my friends went to a spoken word event at a restaurant. Food was great, ambience was funky and soulful, the talent was unparralleled.

**Side bar sign of the times** Three out of the five of us had our phones on the table facebooking/tweeting during the show. I updated my status on FB about something funny my friend at the table said and told her "Go look at my status"...she did. And then she said "Go look at my comment to your status." WTF is wrong with people when instead of saying it to one another and sharing a laugh we must do so online publicly? What kind of self absorbed pseudo celebrity assholes are we?

Anyways...so the show ends and one of my brilliant friends suggests we go to a club around the corner. "It's hood," she says. "But we always make the best of any situation."

We get there and there's a line. From the line I spot about two infractions that tell me this is not somewhere that I should be. #1 - A girl was wearing Timberland's... #2 - A girl was wearing baggy jean capris and high top Converses.

We get inside, the DJ's doing his thing so I'm like - stop being so siddity and enjoy yourself. Until I got frisked... the chick stuck her finger into my shirt, down between my breasts and wiggled all around my boobie area . What you lookin' for... a shank? Get me the eff outta here!! Alright then we had this girl that was dancing by herself kinda behind us. Clearly she was toasted but looked so cute in her button down shirt dress. I even made a comment about it to my girlfriend. Until "She Got a Donk" came on and the bish pulls her dress UP and starts wiggling her ass and dropping it like its hot in her boy short panties. ---->We moved to the other side of the dancefloor after those antics.

That was the exact moment when I felt like we were the oldest biddies in the club. There was a time where I wouldn't have noticed the Timberlands and the Converses. Would've felt comforted by the extensive body search. Would've enjoyed a hearty laugh at the girl hoisting up her dress. (Hell, I might've been the girl hoisting up her dress) But not anymore. All the nonsense just made me wish I was on my couch under a blanket watching HGTV.

1st movie I've wanted to see this year: Precious

Wow...this movie looks great! I almost cried just watching the clip. *Hi Mrs. Nick Cannon* I see your acting skills have been sharpened.

"In Her Mind" by: Renee Daniel Flagler

Last Friday I attended fellow author, Renee Daniel Flagler's dramatized reading of her latest novel "In Her Mind." The reading was sick! It was like a mini play that left the audience salivating for more! I picked up my copy that night and can't wait to read it! Click here to order your copy today!

Top five turn offs...

There are a few things that will not get your number in my phone. (Well actually I'm too passive aggressive to just not take someone's number. I'd put the number in and then delete it in the ladies room a lil later.)

I need you to put that where? Back there... if you:

5. Have on sandals - over 40 years old this does not apply to you. Under 40 please get it together! There's a time and a place for everything and if we are not on a Caribbean beach somewhere you need not be wearing sandals, sir. I mean, in general men's feet are just not for showcasing.

4. Have on overly decorated shoes - I can't... Your shoes can't have more going on than mine! The pointed toe, the buckle upon buckle, the gator texture here, smooth leather there. I...can't.

3. Have on shades - I do find that there are certain sunglasses that are fitting for a man and actually look quite nice. But I find them few and far between. Most times it just adds a femininity to your look that I can't quite appreciate just yet.

2. Can't dance - Now this is a tricky one because there's something borderline feminine with a dancing-ass man. But on the other hand I like a man that's semi proficient in dancing. But I find that if you don't know how to dance a swaggerfull two-step works just as well. It bothers me when a man has no rhythm but it doesn't stop him from jamming the loudest and proudest. Stay in your lane please.

1. Have long nails - I...just...can't. Self explanatory, no?

Do you agree? What did I miss?!

First Date Sex

Is sex on the first date a case-by-case ruling? A definite no-no. Or hell yeah if the sparks are flying?

I would say a definite no-no because you don't know this person. There's the scariness of an STD, the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy and just too many unknowns to share your most prized possession -- your body -- with someone you know little about. I would say this with conviction and then I'd also tell you about my pink unicorn that grants me three wishes a day and sleeps under my bed at night to protect me from bad dreams. That ish is for the birds!

I think it's most definitely a case by case ruling. And hell... under the guise of "shoot, we're grown" or "Blame it on the alcohol" you have two great excuses to tell your girlfriend when you call from your cell phone as you do the walk of shame to your car the next morning. Generally, I don't think its a good idea, but ish happens and people have needs and urges that sometimes need to be acted on without thinking about the repercussions. But we do have to use protection every time, no exceptions.


Another factor that influences my case by case rule is the internet. Oftentimes couples/people meet online and speak for a while before actually meeting face to face. Their likes, dislikes, jokes, adventures are shared well before actually meeting in person. So this situation is sticky!


Then there's those times when you know immediately that this person is not boyfriend material, but you can't help but fantasize about him bending you over and......... You can sense his intentions with you are merely sexual as well. This is a mutually beneficial situation; he gets what he wants and you get a nice romp in the hay without feeling like you've been conned out of your panties. But then again...what if its good....what if its REAL good? Now you want more, he wants more, somebody wants more than just that one night? Now you got stars in your eyes wondering if maybe he could be boyfriend material.

Eh...don't do it, its messy. But if you must, just protect yourself!

But did you hear Trey Songz's "First Date Sex"?! He sings it to the tune of Jermih's "Birthday Sex". "Girl you gon' cry..ah ah ah... Tears from your eye..ah ah ah." Hmmm...I don't like the way!! Obvs if I were single, he'd definitely and for sure be my exception to the no sex on the first date rule... Who would be yours?

Supporting our own...

Check out this blog from Torrian Ferguson about black owned book stores and distributors. I get the feeling that this issue hurts his heart. It's definitely not coming from a place of resentment because besides the poor business practices of some...he's persevered as an Essence best selling author, he's the former host of a wildly popular blogtalk radio show and now has launched his own publishing company, Anexander Books. I think he raises some very valid, very frustrating and sad points. Enjoy!

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=117249410&blogId=487248479

Mrs. Organized -- that's me.

LMAO - anyone who knows me is probably laughing so hard that they can't breathe. No, I'm not organized but I'm trying to be. I say all the time that I value my sleep and quality time with my family too much to be organized. But I'm finding that as my responsibilities increase, I can't deal with being unorganized anymore. I need to get it together...like yesterday. So I googled "how to get organized" and came up with some good pointers that I plan on implementing for myself and hopefully may help someone else. Also, I had to put my own little twist on them to make the pointers work for me :-) I'm not trying to move mountains, just small changes that'll help me deal.

• Make a to-do list - Duh...but make the list in threes. This way the list appears more attainable and less intimidating. Accomplishing the first three tasks will be great motivation to make another list and get it done!



• Multi-task - Wash the dishes while talking on the phone with that person you've been meaning to call since forever. Fold clothes while listening/watching a webinar. You get the picture.



• Delegate - Don't be afraid to ask for help! But make sure the person you're asking is capable of carrying out the task without making more work for you in the end.

Three...that's all my system can handle at once. Oh - an honorary mention comes from my mother: If you have an appointment, whether it be hair, nails, doctor or dentist, try to schedule yourself as the first appointment of the day. You know how long the wait can be at these places!! If you're the first in the door you don't have to worry about delays and can get on with the rest of your day!

I love these two!

Love it when Hollywood couples don't hide under the cloak of "we're just friends". They're out, they're in love, and I don't like the way they are both ridiculously beautiful! I'd marry either one.

That's all...

~K

Thick gets the D, skinny gets the ring?

Hmmm...I'm noticing a pattern. While the image we see in rap and r&b videos have women with phat azzes, tig ol biddies, thick thighs and all that, in real life these are not the women the rappers and singers choose to be with. And by "be with", I mean, wife-up, not sleep with. Here are a couple of case studies...Diddy and Kim Porter/Cassie....Kanye and Alexis, Ryan Leslie and Chanel Iman, Nick Cannon and Selita Banks/Mariah (although Mariah's now putting on a little happy weight now). It seems as if these men prefer less curvier, modelesque women in their real lives but and leave the voluptuous women as eye candy for TV. Do the skinny and sexy women get the ring and the thick and delicious just get the D? (in celebrity world, that is)

So I asked my facebook women friends, which body type they'd prefer: video vixen or modelesque. Got no responses from women. Notta one. I once read that the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said... I took the women's non-response as A) preferring neither body type but comfortable somewhere in between, or B) too proud to admit they'd prefer a body type other than what they have. I'm going with B...and I'll go ahead and weigh in on my preference. My current body type leans on the video vixen side minus, the huge azz... I think I'd prefer the model body though, that way I can eat what I want and gain a little if necessary. Being on the thicker side I find my life's too busy to put the dedication into losing weight. Gaining weight would be fun!!

Now, I did get one response on facebook... from a male...and I quote "models are too skinny vixens all the way...lol". Hmmmm...

Social Networking...Young girls, why?

Twenty years old and under, I'm talking about you. Anyone older than 20, and you're still messy on the internet, oh well, you're grown. It's the younger ones, the ones that turn eighteen and can finally say "I'm grown." A) you're legal, not grown and B) if you have to say "I'm grown!" you're still a little girl.

Young ladies, you are setting yourselves up for failure! How can I talk? Because I was a messy, under-educated, over-opinionated, over-developed teen myself. (and I still have my messy moments) But despite my mother's advice, I had to learn everything my way. What the hell does she know? I thought. I'm not her and it's not the seventies anymore. Things are different now.

Same shit, different decade -- the game doesn't change, just the players. And now the players live out their lives publicly on social networking sites.

Get over yourself! You think you're looking so grown up or maybe you feel you're just "doing you." But you don't... and you're not. You're a walking, talking stereotype. Everything you do and say is so textbook. So predictable.

You get back what you put out there... The package that I see a majority of you youngins putting out there for the world to see via facebook and myspace is concerning. You post pictures on these websites dressed like video hoes, commenting on how fucked up you were that night. In those "getting to know you" surveys that go around you take every opportunity to exploit how much you love sex. Blech. We get it -- you're grown. (and sexy even) Then the facebook statuses...so much energy wasted on putting on blast your failed relationships with men. Your disappointment with men. Your anger about their cheating ways.

Take a step back and realize what it is that you're putting out there. Your facebook/myspace pages scream that your this overtly sexy person who's the life of the party that likes to get high and drunk. Translation: You are not girlfriend material. Ass. And this is not limited to just your online representation, these pics that were taken happened in real life too. Only God knows what happened that wasn't photographed. And then you wonder where the real "men" are and why you're always getting cheated on? A real man knows a real woman when he sees her. You, my dear are not that.

To be fair, (well, try to be), some people's online persona is just one facet of their personality. You have some straight A, highly intelligent, highly motivated, youngins that post these partying pics too. Fine, I get that. Bravo to you. (no sarcasm there) Just be careful because you're going to be judged right along with those truly messy girls just the same. First impressions stick.

You ever heard Mary J. Blige's song "Grown Woman?". Take a listen... Put it on your IPOD ASAP.

"I wear these Seven jeans but baby they don't wear me

I keep it covered up, uh Cause I'm a lady

I know how to show a little somethin, somethin

You can't see what's under there Cause I'm a grown woman

I'm so sexy...Remain a mystery...Cause everybody always want what they can't see

And what they can't have, and what they can't grab, and what they can't buy, and baby that's me!"

*****And while you're at it put Lyfe Jennings' "S.E.X" on your IPOD too. Thanks.

Weekend recap

Sometimes I'm in denial about the weight I've gained over the years... until I see pictures. I get dressed up and feel like a diva supreme, no weight insecurities. If I do say so myself, I hide my flaws very well. Until the night is over and I go home to review the pics that I take with my thinner friends and then the reality of my weight gain bashes me in the face like a pillow case stuffed with bricks and half the pictures end up getting deleted. Oh, but not this weekend. Didn't have to wait to get home and review the pics...I'm walking through the dance floor and this girl that I recognize from high school walks up to me and says "Do you remember me?" I say "Of course! How are you?" We hug. She gives me the once over and says with complete sincerity and innocence. "Wow you've put on some weight." Pause.

Yes she said it and I was mortified and felt as insecure as I have in years. But blame it on the alcohol that I was able to continue the night dancing and ki-ki'ing it up with my friends despite the reminder of the weight I've gained since high school, which to be exact is 50 pounds. I awkwardly admitted to her,"Yes, yes I have gained weight," And then I graciously said, "I'm trying to get like you because you still look great." Smile and walk away. Smile and walk away.

Was I offended, no...I really don't think she was trying to be rude. But dayum...

Anyways, that was Friday night on a midnight boat ride I attended. It was a different/fun time but I was mad they didn't have my Zinfandel on deck. In my old age I cannot mess with alcohol anymore, and my taste buds are too immature to appreciate Chardonnay's and Pinot Grigio's and such so I depend on the sweet wine goodness that is White Zinfandel. So when the bartender told me it wasn't happening -- I had raspberry vodka and sprite (my drink of choice when my younger body could handle it). After one cup of that I realized the night would not end well if I continued down that road. So my girls and I got a bottle of Moet Rose, which I'd never had and must say I quite enjoyed :-) It would've made sense to stop after that bottle was done, but noooo. For some reason unknown to me still, my friend was begging her male friend from back in the day to buy me another drink because he had just bought her one...First of all, I had my own money, second of all I was tipsy enough and didn't need anything, and third I didn't even know this guy! I drank the Malibu and Cranberry down like Kool-Aid because I was thirsty more than anything else. And. That. Put. Me. Over. The. Edge. Luckily it was just about time to go home so I spared myself any embarrassing antics. (I think...I hope) Was a little shaky the next morning but I was able to shake a hangover with Aleve and lots and lots of water.

Sunday I finally cleaned my house and got a newsletter out about my new book. In retrospect, nothing really blog worthy happened this weekend other than the girl graciously pointing out my weight gain (in case I'd forgotten or didn't realize)...but once I got started on that my fingers wouldn't stop.

Can I just add... since I'm not single and out the game, it really doesn't matter, but while I'm at it... I think men need to step their game up. All night, I danced with my girlfriends, no guys approached, no guys bought drinks, but on the way out we're getting our arms grabbed, complimented, asked to have our pic taken with them. WHY? So you can post the pic on ur facebook/myspace page and look like a mack? You're not... I/We met at least five guys on the way to the car. This seems so counter intuitive to me...Why not talk to me during the event, buy me a drink, get to know me a little, dance with me and then ask for my number? Dudes just skip all that thesedays. Straight to the "can I get your number?"... A shame. How 'bout you give me a reason first to want to get to know you better? And I don't mean "me" literally. I'm spoken for. I'm just sayin'.

My Husband's Fiancee

I am so excited to announce that my new book, My Husband's Fiancee, will be released this October and I'm loving the cover! You can click here to pre-order your copy.

Kimberly Rose is a career-driven reality television producer whose career has recently taken a slump. But when she witnesses a mistress confronting her lover and his wife in a crowded shopping mall, she immediately realizes she has the next reality show hit on her hands. Her show, My Husband's Fiancee, is born. Kimberly's personal life isn't as successful as her career. Her past is filled with damaging secrets that still haunt her dreams.When her father's health begins to decline, Kimberly's mother can't understand why she's unaffected by the tragedy. Her mother doesn't know it but Kimberly and her father also share a wicked secret. Luckily, Kimberly's love life is just as she wants it; lust-filled rendezvous with her famous, wealthy "boy toy." When he starts pressuring her for a deeper commitment, she's faced with telling him about her past or hiding it from him and hoping she's never exposed. "My Husband's Fiancee" is the best reality show you will ever read! Tune in to see whether the husband chooses to stay with his wife or marry his mistress and whether Kimberly resolves her past demons and lets love into her life.